Steiner Kanye the First

1. Auflage 2017
ISBN: 978-1-78001-964-2
Verlag: Nick Hern Books
Format: EPUB
Kopierschutz: 6 - ePub Watermark

E-Book, Englisch, 120 Seiten

Reihe: NHB Modern Plays

'Know what? If you're a Kanye West fan, you're not a fan of me - you're a fan of yourself.' Annie's not really a fan of herself. But what if everyone thought she was someone else? Someone different. Someone better. Sam Steiner's Kanye the First is a dazzlingly funny and original drama about identity, guilt, contemporary culture and the second coming of Kanye West. It was first performed as part of HighTide Festival 2017, in a co-production between HighTide and Paul Jellis, in association with The Marlowe and The North Wall.

Sam Steiner is a playwright and screenwriter from Manchester. His plays include: A Table Tennis Play (Walrus Theatre, Edinburgh Fringe, 2019); You Stupid Darkness! (Paines Plough & Theatre Royal Plymouth, 2019); Kanye the First (HighTide, 2017) and Lemons Lemons Lemons Lemons Lemons (Walrus Theatre, 2015; revived in the West End in 2023). He is a co-founder of Walrus, a new writing and touring theatre company.

Autoren/Hrsg.

Steiner, Sam

Leseproben

The words ‘THIS IS A TRUE STORY’ appear for a moment then vanish.

ANNIE. Lucy!?

ADAM. What

ANNIE. You called me Lucy.

ADAM. Err no I didn’t

ANNIE. Who the fuck is Lucy?

ADAM. I didn’t… Who’s Lucy? I don’t know.

ANNIE. I’m Annie.

ADAM. I know. Annie. You’re Annie. Let’s just – let’s go back to the talking thing.

ANNIE. Who’s Lucy?

ADAM. nobody.

Pause.

Lucy’s like my… she’s this girl that’s going out with my mate Chris.

ANNIE. Oh.

ADAM. I don’t really know her.

ANNIE. Oh.

ADAM. She barely even speaks to me.

ANNIE. Right.

ADAM. So it’s not a… like an issue or – don’t read into it or whatever

ANNIE. Okay.

Sorry.

ADAM. No it’s cool.

Pause.

ANNIE. Errr. Okay yeah let’s just – get back to…

ADAM. Yeah?

ANNIE. Yeah. I’ve just like – I’ve wanted this for ages so…

ADAM. Okay. Yeah uh – yeah me too.

ANNIE. Okay um I’ll go.

I wanna… errr… I wanna taste your cum in my mouth

ADAM. She’s a country singer.

Beat.

ANNIE. What?

ADAM. Lucy. She err she sings these country songs. Like she’s from… like she’s from Tennessee or something? But she’s not.

*

EVE. Annie.

ANNIE. I like your hat by the way.

EVE. What?

ANNIE. Your hat. It’s nice.

EVE. It’s a bit much / isn’t it.

ANNIE. Kinda looks like a halo.

EVE. Really – like a / halo?

ANNIE. Angel’s halo – saint’s halo? – is it heavy?

EVE. Heavy?

ANNIE. Yeah heavy – like on your head does it feel heavy? Does your neck hurt or anything from the err from the weight?

EVE. You okay?

ANNIE. Yeah I just wanna start wearing hats.

EVE. You should.

ANNIE. I’d look great in hats.

EVE. I think you would.

ANNIE. You should get some wings. Complete the whole…

EVE. I’m – I’m gonna do that now, yes.

ANNIE. Some big fuck-off wings like a… albatross.

EVE. I’ll look into it.

ANNIE. Cool

They smile.

You don’t… so I had this um – the other day, I was in a Starbucks

*

MOTHER. You had this look about you

ANNIE. Mmm.

MOTHER. Like you’d just seen some higher being. You looked so happy. I kind of clapped my hands to my mouth at the sight of you.

MOTHER claps her hands to her mouth.

ANNIE. Yeah.

MOTHER. And then obviously raced you to hospital.

ANNIE. But we / were

MOTHER. You’d perched her paws on your shoulders – one on each shoulder and your heads were together.

ANNIE. Me and the Labrador.

MOTHER. Yeah. And you couldn’t really breathe. You weren’t breathing. I listened for your breathing but there was just this raspy sound that I’m pretty sure was your windpipe closing up?

ANNIE. Shit.

MOTHER. You were that obsessed with this animal.

ANNIE. It’s funny cos I like – I remember it really vividly but my memory totally airbrushes the bit where I can’t breathe

MOTHER. That’s funny.

ANNIE. Yeah. In my head it’s just this perfect… moment

MOTHER. Why did you ask me about that?

*

EVE. A Starbucks?

ANNIE. I was in a Starbucks and you know how they write your name on the cups now? Like they take your order and then they write your name on your to-go coffee cup? It’s a pretty smart marketing strategy. But, so the other day the guy asked me my name and I told him it was Cunt. Like I just said ‘Oh my name is Cunt.’ He was like ‘What?’ and I just said ‘yeah it’s Cunt – C-U-N-T, Cunt. That’s my name.’

EVE. Right.

ANNIE. And he got all awkward and said his pen had run out but then this woman next to me turned to me, looked me up and down, and said: ‘You’re a monster.’

EVE. Whoa.

ANNIE. I know!

EVE. Bitch.

ANNIE. Right?

EVE. That’s so judgemental.

ANNIE. I know. And her baby was so ugly as well.

They laugh.

But you don’t… like…

EVE. What?

ANNIE. Think I’m…

EVE. What – No!

ANNIE. Okay cool.

EVE. You’re taking care of Mum and stuff.

ANNIE. Yeah no I know. I knew that.

EVE. How is she?

ANNIE. Who?

EVE. Mum.

ANNIE. Oh. Yeah she’s okay. I mean she’s in pain.

EVE. Yeah.

ANNIE. Can’t get the smell of piss out of my hands.

EVE. I just think that’s in your head.

ANNIE. Yeah.

EVE. She won’t let me help.

ANNIE. Yeah.

EVE. I tried

ANNIE. I know.

EVE. But you’re hinting / I can tell

ANNIE. I’m not hinting. Wasn’t / hinting

EVE. She won’t let me

ANNIE. Mmmm.

EVE. I don’t get it.

She’s so… formal. I don’t get it. Treats me like I’m not a real person.

ANNIE. You’re…

EVE. What?

ANNIE. She doesn’t want your hands covered in her piss.

Pause.

EVE. I walked in the other day and she like… did her hair?

*

ANNIE is removing MOTHER’s pants.

MOTHER. Is there blood?

Pause.

Is there blood?

ANNIE. Some, yeah.

Silence.

MOTHER. Thank you.

Beat.

ANNIE. No.

You saved me so…

Beat.

MOTHER. Did I?

ANNIE. Yeah. From my stupid allergies. / The… dog

MOTHER. Oh yeah – yeah.

*

The scenes begin to merge into a cacophony. From now, ANNIE’s dialogue is directed to ADAM unless stated otherwise.

ADAM. Sorry this is / fucking stupid

ANNIE. What does she look like?

ADAM. What?

ANNIE. Lucy. The country singer. What does she look like?

ADAM.…She’s got dark hair?

MOTHER. It was funny. That day.

ADAM. And brown eyes.

ANNIE. Okay

MOTHER. Cos it was probably the closest you’ve come to death.

ADAM. And she’s got this uh these, like, I think you call them dimples?

EVE. I heard her run into her room and start doing it

ADAM. You know those kinda folds of skin that you get in cheeks?

MOTHER. But I remember feeling so in awe of you.

ADAM. Sorry.

EVE. and I just waited in the hall for five minutes. And it was – when I spoke to her – Mum – when she got out and we spoke – I could tell she was in loads of pain but she wouldn’t show it? She was just smiling with her teeth all clenched? And it was obviously hurting her even more to hide it so I just like – I just faked a phone call and said I had to leave.

ANNIE. What if you imagined I’m her.

ADAM. What?

EVE. Annie?

ANNIE. Like if you look at me and imagine that my hair is dark like hers and my eyes are brown and my cheeks have dimples in them.

EVE. Do you / um…

ADAM. That’s weird

ANNIE. Just – come on – just – yeah – it’s fucking easy

ADAM. Errr

ANNIE. Do it – I want you to.

Beat.

Okay?

ADAM. Yeah.

Beat.

ANNIE. Yeah? That’s – I’m her now right? In your eyes.

EVE. Do you / um…

ADAM. She doesn’t speak like that.

ANNIE. How does she speak?

ADAM. She’s Irish.

ANNIE. Seriously?

ADAM. Yeah.

ANNIE. Okay. Errr. (Hammy Irish accent.) My name’s Lucy. My – my – my name’s Lucy and I’m from…

Pause.

ADAM. Oh uh… Limerick.

ANNIE (Irish accent). My name’s Lucy and I’m from Limerick.

Laughs.

What do you wanna say to me, Adam?

ADAM. Hi Lucy

ANNIE. Hi Adam.

Pause.

ADAM. It’s weird seeing you without Chris.

ANNIE. I don’t want to talk about Chris.

ADAM. What do you want to talk about?

ANNIE. Look at me like I’m her.

He does.

ADAM. Okay.

ANNIE. I want to talk about me.

ADAM. Okay… I um I think you’re beautiful?

ANNIE. Yeah?

ADAM. Yeah. I’ve thought that for ages. I wanted to tell you.

ANNIE. Why didn’t you?

ADAM. I couldn’t. Because of Chris.

ANNIE. I don’t want to talk about Chris.

ADAM. Sorry.

ANNIE. Tell me again.

ADAM. I think you’re beautiful. I think you’re the most beautiful person ever.

ANNIE. Thank you.

ADAM. I think you’re like TV beautiful

ANNIE. Touch me.

ADAM. Okay.

ANNIE. I want you, Adam.

ADAM. Okay… Just there?

ANNIE. Yeah.

ADAM. Ah

ANNIE. Ah

Pause.

ADAM. I love you Lucy.

ANNIE. Ah.

ADAM. Ah.

ANNIE. Say it again.

Suddenly the whole world...