Smith A Joyful Season of Sorrow

1. Auflage 2024
ISBN: 979-8-3509-7632-8
Verlag: BookBaby
Format: EPUB
Kopierschutz: Adobe DRM (»Systemvoraussetzungen)

E-Book, Englisch, 168 Seiten

Reihe: A Joyful Season of Sorrow

A Joyful Season of Sorrow is a memoir depicting a brief period in the author's life during which she was the primary caregiver for her mother, Jerry, and her sister, Sandy. During the holiday season of 2011 (between Thanksgiving Day, 2011 and New Year's Day, 2012), Jerry and Sandy both became seriously ill, were diagnosed with terminal cancer, became Hospice patients, and then died. This book depicts the story of the author's experiences throughout this time and how she used Unity/New Thought principles to create a season of joy, love, and peace amidst this season of fear, loss, pain, and grief. It's an affirmative story of faith, strength, and most of all the power and resilience of love that never ends.

Susan Smith has been a student of Unity and New Thought spirituality for twenty years. She is a Licensed Unity Teacher and currently serves Unity of Tucson. She believes that each and every person is divine and, thus, has inherent worth and value. Her life improved dramatically after she started applying foundational Unity principles, and she is passionate about teaching what she has learned to others while she continues to learn and apply the principles more deeply to her life.

Autoren/Hrsg.

Smith, Susan

Leseproben

I AM I Am Divine Love.
I Am Whole.
I Am Compassion.
I Am Strength.
I Am Faith.
I Am Gratitude.
I Am Generous.
I Am Grace.
I Am All
All is me.
I Am one with all I see.
All I see is one with me. There are no True barriers,
Between me and anyone.
We are all eternal.
We are all one.
We can never be separated.
It just can’t be done. I am as close to you now.
Even though you are no longer here physically.
I’m as close to you now.
I feel your love with each breath I take.
I’m as close to you now as I can ever be.
We are one for eternity.
Never to be separated. You surround me always.
You are the love I see in every person I meet.
You are the love I share each day.
You are the love that fills me with peace and joy.
You are the love that brought me here.
You are the love I have yet to know.
You are my past, present, and future.
I love you so
I know you know.
For we are one for eternity
Love is infinite.
So is our bond. I am as close to you now as I’ll ever be.
Because in Truth
I Am You
You are me.
We are bound together,
By love for all eternity.
By Susan Smith Chapter 1:
Catch 22 Thanksgiving Day 2011 was a day I am unlikely to ever forget. I woke up in the morning sad and concerned because my sister Sandy, who lived in Phoenix, was not feeling well enough to come to Tucson to spend the holiday with my mother, Jerry, and myself. We would have gone up to Phoenix to be with her but unfortunately my mom woke up the previous Monday feeling very sick herself. She had not felt like she could make the drive to Phoenix. Sandy and I were both single women without children and we were not close in either physical proximity or emotional connection with our extended family. It had been the three of us together for our Thanksgiving celebrations since my sister Karen died on December 1, 2006. It was sad to wake up and know this year we would not be together. It had been difficult to move beyond those memories of Karen’s last Thanksgiving. We had managed, however, to establish new traditions since her passing that had made the day still feel special. It didn’t feel right that this Thanksgiving Sandy, Mom, and I would not be together. I was also concerned about Mom and Sandy’s health problems. I knew I needed to be home with my mother who was ill even though I wanted to be with Sandy as well. It had been a difficult week. I was living in my mother’s house in Tucson at the time. When I got up to go to work Monday morning (I worked at the nearby Petco part time) my mom informed me that she had fallen out of bed the night before. She said she had had a hard time getting back up into bed and that she had bruised herself when she fell. She was also feeling very weak. She expressed that she felt like this right before she had her heart valve replacement surgery five years before. I could tell she was afraid about what was going on with her body. I was both concerned about her health and upset that she didn’t even attempt to wake me up to help her. She explained to me that she didn’t want to disturb me when I asked her why she didn’t wake me up when she fell. I did my best to let go of my frustration with her because I knew how stubborn and independent she could be. I hoped that I got the message through to her that I want her to call me if she ever needed help. I explained that it is much more disturbing to me to find out she needed me, and I wasn’t there than to have my sleep interrupted. I don’t know if she heard me or not. I knew there was no point in holding on to what was already over, so I made my best effort to shift from feeling guilt and anger to forgiveness and compassion. Unfortunately, she told me about falling and how she felt about half an hour before I had to be at work. Since she had a history of heart problems (arrhythmia plus valve replacement surgery 5 years prior to this) I didn’t want to leave her to go to work. I also wasn’t sure about what happened when she fell. I didn’t see any bruising in the area that she fell on and that was strange as the blood thinners she was taking made her bruise easily. For some reason I didn’t think she fell at all. My instincts told me she thought she had fallen and/or perhaps dreamt she had fallen. I will never know what really happened. It was clear that morning that she was weak, and she wasn’t her energetic morning self. She was sick and hurt. She insisted I go to work that day. Where I worked was only a five-minute drive from home so I went in, also there wasn’t anything I could do for her. She wouldn’t let me take her to go see the doctor or to the emergency room. She promised to be careful and not get up and move around much (not that I could take that promise and put it in the bank). I was very distracted that morning at work. I have a vivid imagination and I regret that I let it run away from me; conjuring up images of my mom falling and not being able to get up. She agreed to let me get her a medical alarm to wear but she wouldn’t wear it. I called her when I was on my break. She said she was alright but still complained about weakness. My manager, Tammy, graciously let me go home early after I explained my concerns to her. When I got home my mom said she was better. I was glad I was there, she had a history of being unstable on her feet and I didn’t want her to fall again and hurt herself. It was good to be home so I could keep an eye on her. Throughout the week she felt badly, she even agreed to go to see the doctor on Wednesday, she had an appointment with the Physician’s Assistant. After listening to Mom’s recitation of various ailments and hearing her describe her fall, the P.A. had a difficult time determining what was wrong with her. She sent her for an x-ray since Mom complained about her lower back hurting. I really thought this had nothing to do with her fall since she had arthritis and sometimes had back pain. They didn’t find anything broken on the x-ray. Regretfully, the trip to the doctor and imaging center didn’t provide any answers and further exhausted Mom. During the same week Sandy had gone in for an ultrasound in order to help determine the cause of pain in her back that she had been experiencing with increasing intensity for the last month. She had also been suffering from other health problems. Her doctor’s initial diagnosis was Sjogren’s syndrome, an autoimmune disease. It can cause anywhere from mild to debilitating symptoms including extreme fatigue, joint pain, and organ malfunction. Sandy had been referred to a rheumatologist. The earliest appointment she could get was in January. The ultrasound was scheduled to check her out for any other possible causes for her health issues. At the point when she went in for the ultrasound Sandy was no longer able to lay on her back because she couldn’t get herself up without experiencing excruciating pain. She told the ultrasound technician this. Sandy told me the technician pretty much ignored her concerns. She had her lay down flat. When the test was over, Sandy had to get off the table by herself. Sandy explained that the pain was so intense when she sat up, she almost passed out. The technician then asked if they were checking out other things for her. Sandy found that discouraging because she knew then that the ultrasound probably did not show any reason for her physical pain and discomfort. Amazingly, Sandy continued to do her volunteer work at Lodestar and worked that Wednesday. Lodestar is a center that provides assistance to homeless people in Phoenix. Sandy had retired from teaching the year before and began working at Lodestar in the fall. She provided GED tutoring and also helped in general in the resource room. When I spoke to her that Wednesday night before Thanksgiving, I could tell that she had had a very difficult day. She was feeling discouraged that she was not receiving any treatment to help her get better. She had been sleeping on a chair for at least a month due to her pain and mobility problems. I had been up twice during that time in order to help her as much as possible (clean house and set up things so they were easier for her). We were quite creative in coming up with a pouring system to feed her dog, TK. She thought it was funny when the food fell on his head when she went to feed him. It was hard for me to believe it, but at the exact same time my 82-year-old mother and my 55-year-old sister were experiencing serious mysterious medical conditions. Luckily for me I had been a student of Unity New thought teachings for several years prior to this happening. I had an established centered prayer/meditation practice. I was as we say, “All Prayed Up.” Being “All Prayed Up” for me meant that even though the ground currently under my feet was shifting in mysterious and frightening ways I could still know the unshakable...