Miller Reborn (Wanderers #2)

1. Auflage 2013
ISBN: 978-1-311-50586-6
Verlag: Distributed via Smashwords
Format: EPUB
Kopierschutz: Adobe DRM (»Systemvoraussetzungen)

E-Book, Englisch, 422 Seiten

Everything Ella knew is now lost. Her trust and faith in the people she loved - gone. Ella's fear of the unknown is what tortures her broken heart. She has nowhere to go and no one to confide in. But the one one thing that remains is the enemy that set the entire catastrophic events in motion. The question that still looms is where does she go from here and can she survive another year?

Autoren/Hrsg.

Miller, Jessica

Leseproben

Chapter two  
December 10 It’s been over a month and today is the first day I feel…I feel less pain. I feel a little more like myself as opposed to someone trapped inside an empty shell. The pain I felt after losing Josie and Tristan was too unbearable. After everything that happened, I thought I needed something to help me ease the pain, a way to release some of the pressure. So I decided the only way I knew how to do that was to inflict pain on myself. I know now that my decision may not have been the best idea, but what’s done is done, I can’t change it now. I can say I don’t have any regrets though. I sat back and pushed up my sunglasses. I remember the first day it happened, when I made the decision to ease my pain. It was one day while we were heading back from the hospital after visiting Billy. On the drive back to the hotel we had passed a tattoo shop. I asked Gabe to pull over. “Miss Ella, I don’t think this is wise,” Gabe said. “I didn’t recall asking for your opinion. Now pull over,” I demanded. Gabe did as I asked and followed closely behind me as we entered the tattoo shop. I ignored all the stares I got from the people in the waiting room and proceeded to look around at all the different designs. A short, bald, heavy set man, covered from head to toe in tattoos came up to me. “Can I help you?” he asked in a deep voice. I straightened myself out, put on a brave face, and said, “Yes, I would like a tattoo.” He gave me a funny look, but obliged. “Alright, how about you pick some pretty thing off the wall and let me know what you decided.” I never took my eyes off of him. “I know what I want,” I said firm. He turned his head to Gabe, than back to me, and smiled creepily. “Let me guess, your boyfriend’s name inside a heart.” I turned to Gabe and laughed. Gabe just looked uncomfortable. Once I was able to contain my laughter, I gave Gabe an apologetic look and turned back to the tattoo guy. “No, I’m leaving it up to you.” He looked me up and down brows creased. To give him a little more incentive, I threw a couple hundred dollar bills on the counter in front of him. He eyed the money then signaled for me to follow him in the back. Gabe kept tight on my tail reminding me how much of a bad idea he thought this was. I ignored him and took a seat in the chair as the tattoo artist had directed me to. “How big and where do you want it?” I thought it over for a minute. “My back and as big as you can make it.” I took off my shirt giving him free range to do whatever he wanted. I knew I was taking a risk by letting him choose the design. I could end up with two naked ladies on my back, but at the moment I didn’t care. I sat in the chair trying not to let my nerves get the best of me. It was hard to listen to the buzzing sound coming from the other rooms. The longer I waited, the more I wanted to jump out of the chair, but I stayed strong. “Do you want a test shot?” he asked. “No, just do it,” I said so I wouldn’t back out. “This may hurt a little.” “That’s the plan,” I said to myself. I closed my eyes ready to take on the pain and boy did it hurt, a lot. Each drag of the needle felt like a hot razor on my skin. The pain I felt from the tattoo needle didn’t release the hurt I felt inside like I thought it would, but it still distracted me, at least for the time being. When he was done, he handed me a mirror to take a look at his work. He had covered my entire lower back with intricate swirls around a purple butterfly leading its way up to two brightly colored flowers. It was perfect. I turned to him and asked what had made him decide to do the design. He scratched his head saying he wasn’t sure. He said he just started drawing and this was the outcome. He said he felt like it was if someone was guiding him. I shrugged and threw another hundred at him telling him I’d be back. Gabe gave me a wary look as we left the shop. I knew he didn’t like the fact that I told them I would be back. When we got in the car I reminded him it would not be wise to tell my parents about our little detour. He nodded in agreement knowing he’d be in more trouble for taking me. I stopped by one more time before I left Vermont. I had gotten two more tattoos on my stomach and had become addicted to the pain. Once I got home, I figured out how to sneak out of the house undetected. I continued to get inked feeding the addiction for the pain. I kept most of them hidden the best I could. My lower back was covered as was my upper back and shoulders. I had four across my stomach and one that stretched from the top of my breast all the way down my ribs and back up the side. I also gotten one on my foot and thigh and every time I got a new one I would tell them the same thing. “I’m an open canvas, do what you want.” And each time after they were done I would ask them what made them decide on what to do. They all said the same thing. It just came to them, as if someone was guiding them on what to draw. I think a big part of why I went the tattoo route was because it wasn’t something I would normally do, but lately I didn’t feel much like myself so doing something out of the ordinary seemed like a good idea. Mom and dad don’t know about my little addiction, but they are about to find out soon enough. I keep myself covered most of the time so they have yet to see them, but being in my bathing suit is another story. There’s no hiding them then. I didn’t care. I was prepared for the storm that was about to erupt and was willing to take the consequences for it, or so I hope. Maybe I’ll just join a convent. Yeah, that would be pretty funny to see – a vampire nun – ha. Well hopefully after they find out they’ll be happy to know I’m done with the tattoo thing. After visiting Josie’s grave today, I no longer feel the need to inflict pain on myself. I feel that part of me has healed and someday I’ll find a way to heal the rest of myself. Until then I’ll have to find a way of releasing my pain without inflicting more. I put my journal aside and lay back against the chair. I lay there trying to think of a good way to break the news of my new body art to my parents. I knew deep down there was no way to do it. Just then, my mom came out and sat in the chair beside me. The tattoo on my thigh was peeking out of the bottom of my shorts and caught her attention. “What’s this?” she asked, pulling up the side of my shorts. “Oh Ella, a tattoo?” I guess the cat’s out of the bag now. Her eyes shifted down my leg where she spotted the one on my foot. I’m surprised she didn’t see that one first. “Please tell me those are the only ones you have?” she asked, her face expressionless. “Well,” I said. I guess I might as well get it over with. I stood up and took my shirt and shorts off. She gaped at me as I spun around to show her. I couldn’t tell if it was a good or bad reaction. “Why?” she gasped. Okay, we’re going to go with bad. I shrugged. I couldn’t tell her the real reason, afraid she might have me committed. “Please tell me this is just a phase.” “You don’t have to worry mom. I promise I’m done. It was just a phase,” I said, sitting back down. She let out a sigh of relief and looked over my tattoos again. “They are…nice. I just wish there was less of them.” I rolled my eyes. I should be happy that’s the only reaction I got. “How about we just keep this between you and me? At least until I can find an easy way to break it to your father.” “What are you two trying to butter me up for?” my dad joked coming up behind us. So much for breaking it to him gently. I stood up from the chair and faced him. “Please tell me this is another side effect from your powers, like your hair?” I shook my head no. “What the hell is wrong with you?” “Liam.” “No. This is not something she can weasel her way out of or something that can just be overlooked.” “What are you going to do ground me? Send me to my room? Because that would be a real change from the past month, and I’m eighteen. I don’t need your permission,” I snapped, not in the mood to hear a lecture from him. He had a lot of nerve coming down on me considering all the things he’s hidden from me over the years. “You are royalty and royals do not have tattoos,” he said with a distasteful look on his face. “Well I’m a royal who does so deal with it. It’s the twenty first century dad. I highly doubt that there isn’t a royal with at least one tattoo. And if that’s your only argument then you just lost.” “Don’t get smart with me young lady.” “Why am I next in line anyways? Why not Xander?” “He was, but he declined,” my dad said, biting back his tongue, and showing me there was more to it then he was letting on. Obviously more secrets he was keeping from me. I crossed my arms, annoyed. “And that’s okay? He can but I can’t? What about Dean?” My dad choked on a laugh. Even I knew that was a foolish question. Dean would end up having five wives and deal with his problems by getting drunk. “You will take over for me when the time comes. End of discussion.” “That’s not fair! I thought you...