Lethem The Disappointment Artist

Main
ISBN: 978-0-571-31790-5
Verlag: Faber & Faber
Format: EPUB
Kopierschutz: 6 - ePub Watermark

E-Book, Englisch, 160 Seiten

Lethem illuminates the process by which a child invents himself as a writer, and as a human being, through a series of approaches to the culture around him. In the title piece, a letter from his aunt (a children's book author) spurs a meditation on the value of writing workshops, the role and influence of reviews, and the uncomfortable fraternity of writers. In 'Defending The Searchers', Lethem explains how a passion for the classic John Wayne Western became occasion for a series of minor humiliations. In 'Identifying with Your Parents', an excavation of childhood love for superhero comics expands to cover a whole range of nostalgia for a previous generation's cultural artefacts. And '13/1977/21', which begins by recounting the summer he saw Star Wars twenty-one times, 'slipping past ushers who'd begun to recognize me...', becomes a meditation on the sorrow and solace of the solitary moviegoer.

Jonathan Lethem was born in New York and attended Bennington College. He is the author of seven novels including Fortress of Solitude and Motherless Brooklyn, which was named Novel of the Year by Esquire and won the National Book Critics Circle Award and the Salon Book Award, as well as the Macallan Crime Writers Association Gold Dagger. He has also written two short story collections, a novella and a collection of essays, edited The Vintage Book ofAmnesia, guest-edited The Year's BestMusic Writing 2002, and was the founding fiction editor of Fence magazine. His writings have appeared in the New Yorker, Rolling Stone, McSweeney's and many other periodicals. He lives in Brooklyn, New York.

Autoren/Hrsg.

Lethem, Jonathan

Leseproben

Defending

(Scenes in the Life of an Obsession)

1. Bennington

What’s weird in retrospect is how I seem to have willed the circumstances into being, how much I seemed to know before I knew anything at all. There shouldn’t have been anything at stake for me, seeing that first time. Yet there was. Going to a film society screening was ordinarily a social act, but I made sure to go alone that night. I smoked a joint alone too, my usual preparation then for a Significant Moment. And I chose my heavy black-rimmed glasses, the ones I wore when I wanted to appear nerdishly remote and intense, as though to decorate my outer self with a confession of inner reality. The evening of that first viewing of I readied myself like a man who suspects his first date might become an elopement.

I wasn’t a man. I was nineteen, a freshman at Bennington, a famously expensive college in Vermont. I’d never been to private school, and the distance between my experience and the other students’, most of whom had never set foot inside a public school like those I’d attended in Brooklyn, would be hard to overstate. On the surface I probably came off like an exuberant chameleon. I plied my new friends with stories of inner-city danger when I wanted to play the exotic, aped their precocious cynicism when I didn’t. Beneath that surface I was weathering a brutally sudden confrontation with the reality of class. My bohemian-artisan upbringing—my parents were hippies—had masked the facts of my own exclusion from real privilege, more adeptly than is possible anymore. It was 1982.

Soon the weight of these confusions crushed my sense of belonging, and I dropped out. But before that, I cloaked my abreaction in a hectic show of confidence: I was the first freshman ever to run the film society. The role freed me to move easily through the complex social layers at Bennington, impressing people with a brightness that hadn’t affixed to any real target. Plus I was able to hire myself as a projectionist, one of the least degrading work-study jobs, then pad the hours, since I was my own manager.

So when I walked into Tishman Hall, Bennington’s small, freestanding movie theater, I was entering my own little domain on a campus that really wasn’t mine at all. Which had everything to do with the episode that night. The rows of wooden seats in Tishman were full—deep in the Vermont woods, any movie was diversion enough for a Tuesday night—but I doubt any of my closest friends were there. I don’t remember. I do remember glancing up at the booth to see that this night’s projectionist was my least competent. The lights dimmed, the babble hushed, and the movie began.

A cowboy ballad in harmony plays over the titles. You’re thrust into a melodrama in blazing Technicolor, which has faded to the color of worrisome salmon. A homestead on the open range—no, hardly the range. This family has settled on the desolate edge of Monument Valley, under the shadow of those baked and broken monoliths rendered trite by Jeep commercials. You think: they might as well try to farm on the moon. The relationships between the characters are uneasy, murky, despite broad performances, corny lines. At the center of the screen is this guy, a sort of baked and broken monolith himself, an actor you might feel you were supposed to know. John Wayne.

I’d seen part of on television. The only feature Western I’d ever watched was but I’d passingly absorbed the conventions from from , from a parody of . Similarly, I’d grasped a sense of John Wayne’s iconographic gravity from the parodies and rejections that littered seventies culture. I knew him by his opposite: something of Wayne’s force is encoded in Dustin Hoffman, Elliott Gould, Alan Alda. And the voice—in high school I’d sung along with a hit song called “Rappin’ Duke” which aped his bullying drawl: “So you think you’re bad, with your rap / Well I’ll tell ya, Pilgrim, I started the crap—”

As for movies, I was a perverse muddle, another result of my parents’ milieu. I’d seen dozens by Godard and Truffaut, and never one by Howard Hawks or John Ford. My parents had taken me to not . In my scattershot reading I’d sensed something missing in my knowledge, something central, a body of Hollywood texts the European directors revered like a Bible. But I’d never seen an American film older than . Somewhere in my reading I’d also gleaned that was terribly important, though not how, or why, or to whom.

Wayne’s character, Ethan, is tormented and tormenting. His fury is righteous and ugly—resentment worn as a fetish. It isolates him in every scene. It isolates him from you, watching, even as his charisma wrenches you closer, into an alliance, a response that’s almost sexual. You try to fit him to your concept of hero, but though he’s riding off now, chasing a band of murderous Indians, it doesn’t work. No parody had prepared you for this. Wasn’t Wayne supposed to be a joke? Weren’t Westerns meant to be simple? The film on the screen is lush, portentous. You’re worried for it.

Now Wayne and the other riders falter. The Indians, it seems, have circled back, to raid the farmhouse the riders have left behind. The family, they’re the ones in danger. The riders race back in a panic. They’ve failed. The farmhouse is a smoldering cinder, the family dead. The woman Wayne seemed to care for, raped and murdered. Her daughter, Wayne’s niece, kidnapped. The sky darkens. The score is a dirge, no ballad now. Wayne squints, sets his jaw: the girl would be better dead than in the hands of the savages. John Wayne’s a fucking monster! So are the Indians!

Now you’re worried in a different way.

That’s when the audience in Tishman began laughing and catcalling. Some, of course, had been laughing from the start, at the conventions of 1950s Hollywood. Now, as the drama deepened and the stakes became clear, the whole audience joined them. It was the path of least resistance. The pressure of the film, its brazen ambiguity, was too much. It was easier to view it as a racist antique, a naïve and turgid artifact dredged out of our parents’ bankrupt fifties culture.

Benefit of the doubt: What cue, what whiff of context was there to suggest to this audience why it should risk following where this film was going? These were jaded twenty-year-old sophisticates, whose idea of a film to ponder was something sultry and pretentious—. If an older film stood a chance it should be in black-and-white, ideally starring Humphrey Bogart, whose cynical urbanity wouldn’t appall a young crowd nursing its fragile sense of cool. The open, colorful manner of didn’t stand a chance. A white actor wearing dark makeup to play the main Indian character didn’t stand a chance. John Wayne, above all, didn’t stand a chance. The laughter drowned out the movie.

I was confused by the film, further confused by the laughter. was overripe, and begged for rejection. But the story was beginning to reach me, speak to me in its hellish voice, though I didn’t understand what it was saying. And I clung to shreds of received wisdom—this was the film that meant so much to … who was it? Scorsese? Bogdanovich? There must be something there. The laughter, I decided, was fatuous, easy. A retreat. Sitting there trying to watch through the howls, I boiled.

Then the film broke. The crowd groaned knowingly. This wasn’t uncommon. The lights in the booth came up, illuminating the auditorium, as my projectionist frantically rethreaded the projector. It was then I began daring myself to speak, began cobbling together and rehearsing words to express my anger at the audience’s refusal to give a chance. A print brittle enough to break once in Tishman’s rusty projectors was likely to do it again, and by the time the film was up and running I’d made a bargain with myself: if there was another break I’d rise and defend the film.

My silent vow scared the shit out of me. I sat trembling, hating the crowd, hating myself for caring, and praying the film wouldn’t break again. was meant to be the center of this experience, but with one thing and another it was reeling away from me.

It did break again. I did stand and speak. What I recall least about that night are the words which actually came out of my mouth, but you can bet they were incoherent. I’d love to claim I said something about how The Searchers . I’d love to think I said something about that I planted a seed by suggesting had been put together .

Of course, I didn’t. I was nineteen. I called them idiots and told them to shut up. What I didn’t do, couldn’t do, was defend itself. I hadn’t seen more than a third of the film, after all, and what I’d seen I hadn’t understood. My schoolmates might be wrong to condescend to this film, but I couldn’t tell them why. Years later I’d come to see that part of what I was defending, by instinct, was...