Kutschera / Brugger What's Out of Order Here?

Illness and Familiy Constellations
1. Auflage 2025
ISBN: 978-3-8497-8540-6
Verlag: Carl Auer Verlag
Format: EPUB
Kopierschutz: 6 - ePub Watermark

E-Book, Englisch, 127 Seiten

'What makes this book special is the richness of the illustrations of how symptoms of illness embody concrete events in a family and how family constellations can bring this to light with a respect that allows symptoms to recede and disappear. As far as I am aware, this has never before been identified and illustrated so clearly. This book is a first class pioneering effort. Alongside new insights, it also details the concrete steps that have led to new and often surprising resolutions.' Bert Hellinger When a machine is out of order, we look for the broken part and attempt repairs. When something goes awry with the human mind, body and spirit, we need to look with a more holistic view for solutions. This book presents the experiences of a physician and psychotherapist who has gone far beyond the 'parts repair' approach to medical treatment to look not only at the whole person, but also the entire family system using the method of family constellations. The book is comprised of two parts. The first is a basic explanation of the approach, which was first developed by Bert Hellinger. In the second part of the book, practical applications of the method are documented in a wide variety of case studies. Illness and symptoms are viewed in the context of larger systems, and constellations are used to identify disturbances and restore a more health-supporting order. This report on the method of family constellations is a fascinating trip through theory and practice that offers a new concept of healing for lay readers as well as professionals. The Authors: Ilse Kutschera, M. D., born in Vienna, Austria in 1936, studied medicine in Graz. She worked as a physician until 1998, when she retired from her position as head of a rehabilitation clinic to devote her time to her private psychotherapy practice. During her career, she had developed a keen interest in psychotherapy and trained in various approaches including primal therapy, transactional analysis, gestalt therapy, NLP and Bert Hellinger's constellation work. This book is an expression of her interest in integrating psychotherapy and classical medicine. Christine Brugger, born in Germany in 1962, is head of a radio station in the East Tyrol in Austria. Through her friendship with Dr Kutschera, she became interested in writing about constellation work in the medical field. The book is the result of many interviews, discussions and recorded case histories.

Ilse Kutschera, M. D., born in Vienna, Austria in 1936, studied medicine in Graz. She worked as a physician until 1998, when she retired from her position as head of a rehabilitation clinic to devote her time to her private psychotherapy practice. During her career, she had developed a keen interest in psychotherapy and trained in various approaches including primal therapy, transactional analysis, gestalt therapy, NLP and Bert Hellinger's constellation work. This book is an expression of her interest in integrating psychotherapy and classical medicine. Christine Brugger, born in Germany in 1962, is head of a radio station in the East Tyrol in Austria. Through her friendship with Dr Kutschera, she became interested in writing about constellation work in the medical field. The book is the result of many interviews, discussions and recorded case histories.

Zielgruppe

Therapeut:innen, Physiotherapeut:innen, Psychotherapeut:innen, Ärzt:innen

Autoren/Hrsg.

Kutschera, Ilse

Brugger, Christine

Weitere Mitwirkende

Beaumont, Colleen

Fachgebiete

• Sozialwissenschaften Psychologie Psychotherapie / Klinische Psychologie Systemische Beratung & Therapie
• Sozialwissenschaften Psychologie Psychotherapie / Klinische Psychologie Familientherapie, Paartherapie, Gruppentherapie

Leseproben

Basic Principles of Family Constellations

Bonds

The most fundamental aspect of these bonds is that they exist whether we want them to or not. At the moment of conception, a bond is formed between the child and his or her parents. When we separate from our parents, even if all contact is broken off, the bond to our parents remains. The bonds will have effects on our lives, and there is no way for us to consciously influence those effects.

Bonds exist between all members of a clan, but the connection between children and their parents is the strongest. This is a force that can overcome even a fear of death, which sometimes leads to a child’s death, a movement of the child’s love for his or her parents. (See the example of Anna, p. **) This bond of love also explains the loyalty of abused children to their parents; they cannot be disloyal. When children are forced into a situation that requires them to be disloyal, such as testifying in court or in an investigation process, it can destroy them. As Bert Hellinger says, “Bonds to the system are stronger than a fear of death.”

Order

The concept of order seems simple to explain. It means that the first is in first place, the second in second place, and so on.

These days, the principle of order has special significance, since many men and women have more than one marriage or relationship. A second partnership can only succeed if the first is acknowledged and honoured as the first.

In the sequence of children, the eldest is first in the hierarchy. Traditionally, the eldest child used to be entitled to take over the family estate, which implied rights and responsibilities. For many centuries, everyone generally accepted the validity of this order. When the basic hierarchical order is disrupted, for example through an unjust inheritance, it often brings difficulties for the person who has unjustly profited.

The reality of this order means that parents can never treat each of their children exactly the same, since each is born into a different situation. The timing and sequence of birth determines the placement of each child in the family. In modern families, a stepchild may change the apparent sequence of the children. The eldest son has suddenly got an elder sister and seems to be demoted from his place. The essential fact is that this son remains the first born for his mother even though a stepsister has taken the place as eldest in the new family. Behavioural problems in children can often be resolved when the hierarchical order is made clear. It is also possible to keep the sequential order clear and visible in everyday situations, such as seating positions at the dinner table.

When looking at two separate systems, however, the order is different. In this case, the newer, current system has priority over the previous system. The present family has priority over one’s family of origin. When conflicts arise, a spouse takes priority over parents. For example, if a man’s wife is having difficulties with her in-laws, the man owes his support to his wife. If he takes his mother’s side instead of his wife’s, it disrupts the order of priority of the new system over the old, and the marriage is in grave danger. The priority of systems can be explained biologically, since the son is now an adult and can only ensure the continuation of the family with his wife, not with his parents.

When there are multiple relationships involving children, the newest system has priority over previous ones. If a married man has a child with another woman, this new extra-marital family takes priority over his marriage. Although it may seem contradictory, the first partner and children must still be acknowledged and honoured as first, and they retain their position as such. In contrast to the common practice of denigrating a previous partner in order to relieve guilt, the solution lies in respecting and honouring that partner. “Thank you for everything you have given me.” Then, the new relationship has a systemic basis for success.

The relationship between children from a previous relationship and a new partner is a particularly delicate one. Children from an earlier relationship take priority over a later partner. In my experience, conflicts between new partners and their stepchildren can be avoided if the original parents give their children the security of knowing that their place in the hierarchy will be maintained and respected, even in the new situation.

Children have to respect their parents’ decision to form new relationships and have no right to sabotage this choice. They will be less likely to attempt to do so if their mother or father is clearly standing by the new partner. In this way a relationship can grow and a positive spiral is nurtured.

These structures that Bert Hellinger has observed and described provide a useful perspective for looking at order within a family system. Dealing with them requires sensitivity and respect on the part of everyone involved. When the order of the system is disrupted, the results are quarrels, jealousy and suffering. It is clear that these guidelines will provoke objections since they seem very rigid, but my experience has been that respect for systemic order promotes peace and healing. This stance is often only possible with therapeutic support.

Balance in Taking and Giving

A balance of taking and giving is of essence and, here again, sequence is important. Taking comes first. Only when I have taken can I also give. Of particular importance is taking life from one’s parents, just as it is given. There is a balance of taking and giving in every relationship: in the family, amongst friends, and in work relationships. Money is one currency for giving and taking, but care, attention, and recognition are also gifts.

An imbalance in giving and taking can destroy a relationship. The critical word here is balance. When one person gives too much, for example a very expensive present, the receiver feels unable to reciprocate, and that feeling can destroy the relationship. The one who has been given too much will feel uncomfortable with this sense of debt and may pull back from the giver.

The situation is quite different between parents and children. Parents always give more and children always take more. Balance is achieved over generations in a family. Children take from their parents and give to their own children, and balance is maintained in the family system over a longer period of time.

The Golden Ball

For the love my father gave to me

I did not give him due.

As child, I didn’t know the value of the gift.

As man, became too hard, too like a man.

My son is growing to manhood now, loved with passion

as no other, present in his father’s heart.

I give of that which I once took, to one from

whom it did not come, nor is it given back.

When he becomes a man, thinking as a man,

he will, as I, follow his own path.

I’ll watch with longing free from envy as

he gives on to his own son the love I gave to him.

My gaze follows the game of life

deep through the halls of time—

each smilingly throws the golden ball,

and no one throws it back

to him from whom it came.

Börries von Múnchhausen

A balance between giving and taking also plays an important role at another level of family systems. When one member of a family incurs a debt or guilt (for example, as a result of actions during a war), it often happens that later family members suffer for it in some form. But, paradoxically, if one member of a family has suffered some terrible stroke of fate, it is also later suffering that re-establishes systemic balance. Both suffering and guilt within the family system are balanced out over many generations, and all the members of the clan are affected.

Attempts to correct imbalance in the system may appear as severe mental disturbances, physical symptoms, or serious illnesses. I have seen seriously depressed patients who have tried a variety of therapeutic approaches, without relief from their symptoms. Their family histories are often quite similar: one member of the family suffered a terrible blow of fate in the past, or another incurred some guilt. Experience has shown that the descendents of victims and perpetrators, that is, their children and grandchildren, suffer from similar symptoms and illnesses. Guilt or suffering that has been taken over by a later member of the family expresses itself either in physical disease, such as cancer, multiple sclerosis or heart disease, or in a mental disturbances such as a therapy-resistant depression.

A woman in a therapy group was very politically active, as both her mother and her grandmother had been. This political and social commitment wove through three generations like a repeating theme. The client came seeking relief from a medically untreatable back pain. In the family constellation, it became...

Über Autor(innen)

Ilse Kutschera, M. D., born in Vienna, Austria in 1936, studied medicine in Graz. She worked as a physician until 1998, when she retired from her position as head of a rehabilitation clinic to devote her time to her private psychotherapy practice. During her career, she had developed a keen interest in psychotherapy and trained in various approaches including primal therapy, transactional analysis, gestalt therapy, NLP and Bert Hellinger’s constellation work. This book is an expression of her interest in integrating psychotherapy and classical medicine.

Christine Brugger, born in Germany in 1962, is head of a radio station in the East Tyrol in Austria. Through her friendship with Dr Kutschera, she became interested in writing about constellation work in the medical field. The book is the result of many interviews, discussions and recorded case histories.

Ilse Kutschera, M. D., born in Vienna, Austria in 1936, studied medicine in Graz. She worked as a physician until 1998, when she retired from her position as head of a rehabilitation clinic to devote her time to her private psychotherapy practice. During her career, she had developed a keen interest in psychotherapy and trained in various approaches including primal therapy, transactional analysis, gestalt therapy, NLP and Bert Hellinger's constellation work. This book is an expression of her interest in integrating psychotherapy and classical medicine.

Christine Brugger, born in Germany in 1962, is head of a radio station in the East Tyrol in Austria. Through her friendship with Dr Kutschera, she became interested in writing about constellation work in the medical field. The book is the result of many interviews, discussions and recorded case histories.