Dome / Ed.D. Let's Talk About Race (and Other Hard Things)

A Framework for Having Conversations That Build Bridges, Strengthen Relatio
1. Auflage 2022
ISBN: 978-1-5445-2420-7
Verlag: Lioncrest Publishing
Format: EPUB
Kopierschutz: PC/MAC/eReader/Tablet/DL/kein Kopierschutz

E-Book, Englisch, 238 Seiten

Fear. Avoidance. Division. The safest path can feel like the one without dialogue regarding conversations about equity and diversity. What if you offend the other person? What if they challenge your beliefs? What if you ruin a relationship? When it comes to hard topics, effective communication skills are an asset, vulnerability is necessary, and forgiveness is vital. In Let's Talk About Race (And Other Hard Things), communication expert and equity consultant Dr. Nancy A. Dome provides you with a framework to recognize feelings, interrupt flawed patterns, and repair relationships. Utilized in business, education, and communities throughout the country, Dr. Dome's process makes space for vulnerability and helps participants engage in empathetic dialogue. Conflict is normal and survivable, and you don't need special skills or experience to navigate it-you just need practice. Complete with extensive qualitative research and case studies, this step-by-step guide shows how to lean into difficult conversations, recognize the role emotions play when we are not in control of them, and create a solid foundation for change, progress, healing, and resolution.

Autoren/Hrsg.

Dome, Nancy

Ed.D.,

Leseproben

Chapter 2
2. What Are the Different Communication Styles, and How Do We Use Them?
Before diving into a solution, it’s important to have a foundational understanding of common communication styles and begin to identify where we each fit. I’ll offer a framework I believe provides thorough and inclusive definitions of the styles, overlaid with another framework that sheds light on some of the issues we encounter when communicating. It can be difficult to connect when we don’t take each other’s different styles into consideration. There are four main types of communicators. It is helpful to understand each one and how they show up in our personal and professional lives so we can adapt accordingly. Because we each process information differently, we can avoid many misunderstandings just by knowing the styles and using tailored strategies to engage with each type of communicator. Analytical Communicators
Analytical communicators lead with data and are direct. They rely on solid facts for explanation. They avoid emotional validation when thinking. They take a linear approach when communicating with others and convey messages with very specific language. They have the ability to make rational decisions without letting emotions cloud their judgment. How to Communicate with Analytical Communicators
Make points using supportive data and facts. Be logical. Approach them when your ideas are completely formulated. Give them time to think it through and form conclusions without pressure. When making recommendations, show examples of outcomes for both sides of the argument. Answer questions with well-thought-out responses. Intuitive Communicators
Intuitive communicators lead with the big picture and are concise. They rely on visuals and like having options. They want to understand the high-level overview and avoid letting details hold them back. They rarely get overwhelmed and make decisions promptly, without overanalyzing specifics. How to Communicate with Intuitive Communicators
Make points from a big-picture context. Show a variety of ideas. Use visuals to aid discussions. Discuss at a high level before going into details. Focus on end results rather than intricate processes. Functional Communicators
Functional communicators lead with process and are systematic. They believe in structure and want to understand execution in a step-by-step format. Organization and sequential outlines are essential to avoid mishaps. Details and established practices influence their decision-making. How to Communicate with Functional Communicators
Address points in a methodical, orderly way. Establish a purpose before initiating conversation. Focus on processes from start to finish. Show project details with timelines and milestones. Ask specific questions to create detailed processes. Personal Communicators
Personal communicators lead with emotion and are diplomatic. They value people’s thoughts and feelings. They prioritize relationships and establishing rapport at a personal level. They are approachable and are great listeners and advisors. They perceive shifts in people’s moods and excel at mediating to resolve conflicts. They make decisions through consultation to consider different perspectives. How to Communicate with Personal Communicators
Use emotional triggers, such as feeling words, to address points. Be authentic and relatable. Be a good listener. Relate emotions to your thoughts on a topic. Show receptivity to different points of view. Know Yourself
I am definitely a personal communicator. It is all about the feelings for me first and foremost. I can navigate the other styles but when it comes down to it, I will always want to connect on a personal level whether in my personal life or in business. Moreover, if there is no connection for me, I am usually left wary about getting involved in any way. My way is not the only way, but understanding my style helps me be open to hearing other perspectives. I am also an intuitive communicator and love the “Big Picture,” trying very hard not to get into the weeds of things. When you put these two together, you begin to get a very clear picture of the way I will typically engage with others. It’s all good if we are speaking the same language…but what happens when we aren’t? When I want to shut down or disengage because a different communication style rubs me the wrong way, I have to remind myself to assume positive intentions and remember there is more than one way to engage so I can stay present in the conversation. I have also recognized the particular style that triggers me—analytical—and how those triggers manifest. This knowledge is invaluable and helps me ask for what I need while honoring the other person’s needs, too. An Introduction to the Four Affects1
I now want to overlay the communicator styles described above with another set of four types that relate to our “affect,” or more specifically, how we express our emotions or feelings—through facial expressions, hand gestures, tone of voice, and other emotional signs, such as laughter or tears. These Four Affects combined with the four communication styles listed above begin to create a fuller picture of who we are as communicators and offer some explanation to why we show up and interpret others the way we do. 1. Passive Communication
A passive communication style is rooted in a pattern of avoidance—avoidance of expressing needs, opinions, emotions, and so forth. Those who communicate passively, then, often will not speak up when something feels hurtful or otherwise unacceptable, instead allowing those feelings to build up. That build up can lead to an outburst, about which the passive communicator might feel shame or guilt. 2. Aggressive Communication
Those who have an aggressive communication style will express their needs and opinions without regard for those of others, often advocating for themselves to a point that it violates others’ rights. Aggressive communicators often interrupt frequently, are quick to criticize or place blame, and speak in a loud, dominating tone of voice. 3. Passive-Aggressive Communication
Passive-aggressive communicators seem passive outwardly but harbor or act on their anger in less obvious ways. This is true even though the object of/reason for that anger can be real or imagined. For example, a passive-aggressive communicator may appear cooperative while behaving destructively behind the scenes, use sarcasm to the max, or deny the existence of a problem when one is clearly there. As a result, passive-aggressive communicators often become alienated from others and feel resentful. 4. Assertive Communication
Those who are assertive communicators advocate for themselves without violating the needs of others, state their feelings and opinions firmly, and are respectful of those around them. Whereas aggressive communicators use “you” statements, assertive communicators use “I” statements. They tend to feel confident, connected, and in control of their own lives and happiness. Can you identify your typical affect? Barriers to Communication
These general introductions can get us thinking about the kind of communicator we are. However, before we can apply this information, we also have to identify the barriers that impede our ability to communicate effectively. All communication styles have strengths and challenges that impede connecting. What Gets in the Way of Honest and Direct Communication?
I sent out a request to friends and colleagues to ponder the question “Why can’t we just talk?” and asked them specifically to address what gets in the way of their having honest and direct communication. Here are some of their responses. “It takes too much time. I don’t want to disappoint anyone, or I just have different priorities and can’t be bothered.” —Taylor A., Salesperson, White Male “I often feel like my voice doesn’t matter. I often have something unpopular to say and I get tired of being ignored. Also, the gender roles have become more evident recently to me as I work my way up in our organization. The jobs are going to the White males and that limits my ability to be honest because in addition to feeling ignored, I am worried about what I say and how it will be perceived.” —Maite I., Principal, Latina Woman “When we discuss race as a staff it feels like it’s a no-win situation. If I’m silent, I’m not engaged. If I speak up and share my truth, I’m the entitled, privileged White man. Maybe the place to start is sharing that...