Crimp In the Republic of Happiness

Main
ISBN: 978-0-571-30178-2
Verlag: Faber & Faber
Format: EPUB
Kopierschutz: 6 - ePub Watermark

E-Book, Englisch, 112 Seiten

- What're you doing here Robert? - Well to be frank with you, I've really no idea. I thought I would just suddenly appear, so I did. I suddenly appeared. A family Christmas is interrupted by the unexpected arrival of Uncle Bob. Who is he? Why has he come? Why does his wife stay out in the car? And what is the meaning of his long and outrageous message? All we can be sure of is that the world will never be the same again. A provocative roll-call of contemporary obsessions, In the Republic of Happiness premiered at the Royal Court Theatre, London, in December 2012.

Martin Crimp was born in 1956. His play Attempts on Her Life (1997) established his international reputation. His other work for theatre includes Not One of These People, When We Have Sufficiently Tortured Each Other, Men Asleep, The Rest Will be Familiar to You from Cinema, In the Republic of Happiness, Play House, The City, Fewer Emergencies, Cruel and Tender, The Country, The Treatment, Getting Attention, No One Sees the Video, Play with Repeats, Dealing with Clair and Definitely the Bahamas. He is also the author of three texts, Into the Little Hill, Written on Skin and Lessons in Love and Violence, for operas by George Benjamin. His many translations of French plays include works by Genet, Ionesco, Koltès, Marivaux and Molière. Writing for Nothing, a collection of fiction, short plays and texts for opera, was published by Faber & Faber in 2019.

Autoren/Hrsg.

Crimp, Martin

Leseproben

DESTRUCTION OF THE FAMILY

Debbie I wasn’t trying to upset people, Dad. I love you. And I love Mum. Plus I love Granny and Grandad – and of course I love Hazel too. I do, Hazel – whatever you think. But the fact is, is I know that I’ll love my baby more. And that’s how it should be, Dad – however much I love you, I know that I’ll love my baby more. Which is why I’m afraid. Wouldn’t you be afraid? When you look at the world? – when you imagine the future? I’m afraid, Dad – for my baby. And I’m really sorry because I know this is Christmas and I shouldn’t be talking like this about horrible things but it’s just I can’t help it.

Mum You mustn’t apologise, Debs. Tommy’s not really angry – are you, Tom.

Hazel So why doesn’t she just get rid of it?

Mum Hazel doesn’t mean that.

Hazel Yes I do – if the world isn’t ‘good enough’.

Granny That’s not a nice thing to say, Hazel.

Mum She doesn’t actually mean it.

Hazel Yes I do.

Mum So you went to the supermarket, Margaret.

Granny Oh it’s not very interesting.

Mum think it’s interesting. What did you get? Come on – tell us – cheer us all up.

Granny Well – I bought a lettuce –

Mum Really?

Granny Yes.

Mum A nice one?

Granny Yes quite a nice lettuce, and a packet of biscuits.

Mum Wonderful!

Granny Oh and some material for your Grandad.

Debbie Material? What kind of / material?

Hazel She means pornography. () Why don’t you just get it off the internet, Grandad?

Granny He’s frightened someone will steal his identity, Hazel – and anyway it’s always much nicer having the actual magazine.

Mum Well I’m very sorry but I think that’s wrong. I wouldn’t buy pornography for Tommy.

Debbie Please stop it, Mum – why ’re you trying to make Grandad feel guilty? It’s not as if he’s going to do anything – he just likes looking – looking’s not a crime.

Grandad Don’t you talk about me like that, young lady. I am neither senile nor impotent – surprising as that may seem.

Debbie Sorry, Grandad – in fact I was defending you – but in future I’ll keep my mouth shut. Okay?

Granny Where’re all the light bulbs, Tom?

Mum What’s wrong, Margaret?

Granny What’s happened to all the light bulbs? There’s none in the toilet and I’m just looking and it looks to me like there are none in here either.

Hazel It’s because electricity’s got so expensive, Granny.

Granny Well yes – I know electricity’s expensive but eventually it will get dark. What happens when it gets too dark to see?

Hazel We get the box out of course.

Granny What box?

Mum The box with the light bulbs in – don’t we, Tommy.

Tommy? Is something the matter?

Dad D’you think this bird’s been properly cooked?

Mum Why ’re you asking me that?

Dad It’s just that ever since we started this meal I’ve felt a bit sick.

Granny You can’t ’ve done, Tom – of course it’s cooked – it’s delicious, Sandra.

Mum Thank you.

Granny Exceptionally succulent.

Mum Thank you.

Granny Which part did you stuff?

Mum The neck.

Granny Because you know not to stuff the body.

Mum Of course not: I stuffed the neck.

Granny Don’t stuff the body – it won’t cook.

Mum I didn’t.

Granny You’re sure? Because these bacteria can be very / dangerous.

Mum I know what I’ve stuffed.

Granny Well anyway, I think it’s excellent.

Mum Thank you.

Dad Then why does my mouth taste of vomit?

Granny It can’t be the bird, Tom.

Dad Well in that case it must be my particularly selfish daughter bringing up yet again the subject of her unplanned and ill-conceived pregnancy in front of this whole family when .

Debbie I’m sorry, Dad.

Mum Don’t bang on the table like that.

Dad I’ll bang how the fuck I like.

Granny He’s been like this ever since he was little. People don’t change. But he does need to control his temper – especially at Christmas.

Dad Yes, Mum – okay – I take your point – I’m sorry.

Granny People don’t change – you learn that when you get to my age.

Hazel But you’ve changed, Granny.

Granny I don’t think so. How?

Hazel You used to be young and pretty.

Mum Hazel.

Hazel Well it’s true: people don’t change is rubbish.

Granny And what did Santa bring you for Christmas, Debbie?

Debbie Well I can’t honestly go asking for presents when I’ve already got the most marvellous gift of all.

Hazel Lying cow – I saw the list!

Debbie What list?

Hazel She made this long long list of all the things she wanted – and because she’s pregnant she got them.

Mum Please. Hazel.

Hazel The hat – the radio – the car – the ‘nice little diamond earrings’.

Debbie I need a car to get to the hospital for my scans – and anyway you got that dress.

Hazel Why doesn’t she use the bus? Granny’s old and she uses the bus. So what if I got a dress – big deal – it wasn’t exactly expensive.

Dad Mum? – on a bus? – you’re joking – when did you last get on a bus, Mum?

Mum Leave your poor mother alone, Tommy.

Granny No he’s right – because in fact, Hazel, your father is right, I don’t use the bus, I take taxis. I may be an ugly old granny – as you have so kindly pointed out – but I still like to sit in the back of a taxi and be driven through the streets – especially at dusk in summer with all the smells of plants and restaurants coming in through the window – and all the childless young people in light summer clothes swarming on the pavements outside the shops and bars. I like to watch the meter running. I like to think ah these two minutes in a taxi have already cost me what that man emptying the bins will take more than an hour of his life to earn – and oh the extra stink of a rubbish bin in summer! Yes on nights like that the taxi is glorious and the fact I’m paying for my happiness makes my happiness all the sweeter – and the fact that other people are having to suffer and work just to pay for such basic things as electricity makes it even sweeter still. And when I’m cruising the clogged streets watching all those people your age, Hazel, all those childless and carefree people swarming outside the bars like ants outside of an ant-hole, I sometimes wonder if we are not on the verge of some enormous and magnificent change – don’t you think? Yes I mean a change to our actual human material. Compared to which your sister’s pregnancy – unplanned and ill-conceived as it may well be, plus medicalised beyond all reason by those same profitable concerns who have so often flown me (oh I admit it) to conferences and booked me into comfy hotel rooms – compared to which reproduction of your sister’s kind – involving some kind of man, some kind of penetration, and even perhaps (I’m just guessing now, Debbie) some kind of wide-eyed love – might only be capable of churning out more of the same – more and more of exactly the same – and is that what we really want? Because what I’m imagining – Hazel – in that taxi of mine, is a new kind of magnificent human being who may not even be human at all.

Hazel Well I still don’t see why she needs a car.

Mum The thing is Hazel sweetheart is that’s not for you to decide. And just because Debbie puts something on her list it doesn’t mean she automatically gets it.

Hazel She got the car.

Mum She needs the car to go to the hospital.

Hazel And I suppose she needs those earrings to go to the hospital too.

Mum Please don’t leave the table – please – please don’t storm off like that – she doesn’t mean it.

Hazel Well I’m sorry but I think the way you’re both spoiling her is horrible.

Dad Very interesting, Mum – what you just said.

Granny Oh I know you...